Friday, December 31, 2010

Excuse Me, Are You Visiting or Have You Moved In? The Freeloader Nightmare (3)

By Miriam B. Medina

Frankly, freeloaders are a menace to society. People that have freeloader problems rightly become depressed and angry. To make the situation worse, moochers often don't bathe, don't flush the toilet or wipe the seat when finished or don't wash their own clothes. What moochers do in fact is use the phone all night, leaving it off the hook when they're done. They leave the TV on all night and are loud while you try and get some sleep to avoid them. If subtle hints and veiled insinuation won't work, then throw all their belongings outside and change the locks. The following is my own handbook, listing problems with moochers and ways to deal with them.

Miriam's Handbook:

PROBLEM: A friend or loved one shows up uninvited, looking for sympathy and a place to stay.

SOLUTION: If someone shows up uninvited, you can tell the person in a courteous way that you were just leaving and don't have time to chit-chat. The strongest weapon that a freeloader has is using guilt to get what they want from you. Be prepared for this. Don't feel guilty. Always be leery of those who love to tag along but who always seem to forget to bring their wallet. Always mention before you go anywhere involving a cost, that if the other person has his or her wallet with them. Or you can simply say its best that you go Dutch. If the person then says they don't have any money, you tell them, 'I'm sorry I don't have enough, to pay for you too so we will have to skip it.'

PROBLEM: A friend or loved one always wants to visit you but doesn't invite you to visit them. Always try to interchange home visits.

SOLUTION: If someone was at your house this week watching the game and eating all your goodies and drinking your beer, then you recommend doing it at their house the following week. If they are uncooperative, don't bother with them. If they are taking advantage of you, begin to control your dealings with them or stop it altogether. You want to tell them that you are not a money tree nor are you their restaurant, hotel or maid service. You have to nip this behavior in the bud, because the longer you wait, the more tensed you will get, and the more difficult it will be to get rid of these people. Then it becomes squatter's rights. They have all the rights and you get squat.

PROBLEM: Your relative wants to stay with you until they get 'back on their feet.' If they live with you, you have to give them some time frame to get out of your house.

SOLUTION: One way to prevent moochers from staying in your home is to keep the fridge or the cabinets as bare as possible. Hide your supplies somewhere; give them a list of chores to do. If they complain then tell them to buy their own food or they can leave.

PROBLEM: You feel like a maid with all the mess left behind and get sick of things like your guest leaving dirty linens, damp towels on the bed or the bathroom counter.

SOLUTION: House-guests should clean up after themselves. If they are there for one week or so, then they should offer to take the host out to dinner for their trouble. If they plan to return, then tell them that you already have plans for that time and that no one will be home. Try to make your apology seem sincere and convincing as best as you can.

PROBLEM: Relatives will come to your house and stay as long as they want, in order to save on hotel expenses. So the longer they stay, the more resentment builds, which will eventually damage family relations.

SOLUTION: Relatives don't have the right to barge in because they are family, they must first call or write. If they happen to show up unexpectedly, then take them to a hotel or give them a ride to the nearest transportation. Do not let moochers have the run of the house; they need to help by cooking, doing their own laundry and throwing in some cash. They have no right to take advantage of you to save on expenses because somewhere up the family tree, you inherited some of their blood or your spouse did.

PROBLEM: The guests who won't leave when it's getting late.

SOLUTION: If you feel your eyelids are starting to get heavy or like you have a severe case of the hives, start yawning, scratch and get up quietly and in a polite way; mention that you had a lovely evening, that you must repeat the visit at ANOTHER, more convenient time. If you continue to stand, they will get up, at least you hope so, then start walking to the door. If they don't take the hint, then come right out and tell them that you have to go to work the next day and that you are tired and want to go to bed. My mother swears by the broom. She said when you wanted the company who were over-staying their welcome to leave turn the broom upside down by the door, and you will see that it works. Yeah, right mom, like in your dream, that's not going to happen.

PROBLEM: The friend or relative who always sponges money off of you and never pays it back or who considers you their personal, unpaid taxi service.

SOLUTION: Just say you don't mind taking them where they are going, but that you don't have gas in your car or money to pay for gas to get there and NEVER lend anyone who has stiffed you money twice.

Follow these simple tips and you'll soon be free of freeloaders. Good luck!

Miriam B. Medina is an Expert Author Platinum Level at

To contact:

No comments: