Friday, December 31, 2010

Excuse Me, Are You Visiting or Have You Moved In? The Freeloader Nightmare (2)

By Miriam B. Medina
(Continue from page: 1)

The thing is, all of the moochers and freeloaders acted in the same rude, selfish manner. No one understood why I'd get irritated, working, sacrificing living space, cooking, doing all the shopping and being imposed upon for far too long. I suppose there's a moocher's guide out there that they all swear by.

The Moocher's Guidebook:

Law Number 1: Find a nice, giving, trusting friend or relative and arrange a "short" but indefinite visit.

Law Number 2: Convince these marks to become your personal ATM.

Law Number 3: Always manipulate others to get out of paying your fair share, stiff drinking buddies with the check, bum rides, sponge cigarettes, meals and so forth.

Law Number 4: Never, under any circumstances, clean up after yourself. This sets a dangerous precedent.

Law Number 5: Always raid any unattended refrigerator. Leave nothing.

Law Number 6: Never be courteous. Assume it is yours by natural law, consume and destroy.

Law Number 7: Have fun while the marks are working. What are vacations for?

Law Number 8: Make yourself scarce when chore time arises.

Frankly, freeloaders are a menace to society. People that have freeloader problems rightly become depressed and angry. To make the situation worse, moochers often don't bathe, don't flush the toilet or wipe the seat when finished or don't wash their own clothes. What moochers do in fact is use the phone all night, leaving it off the hook when they're done. They leave the TV on all night and are loud while you try and get some sleep to avoid them. If subtle hints and veiled insinuation won't work, then throw all their belongings outside and change the locks. The following is my own handbook, listing problems with moochers and ways to deal with them.

To be continued: The Freeloader's Nightmare Page: 3

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