Wednesday, October 31, 2007

What Can We Do When Things Seem to Go Wrong (1)

By Miriam B. Medina

This week has had its unexpected dilemma; two huge car repair bills, which deflated my finances. Naturally, I would not be truthful, if I didn't say that my immediate emotional reaction to all of this was one of high stress. Although I encourage having a positive outlook on life, I must admit that we all experience at one time or another in our lives these displays of emotions, of "hitting the roof, or blowing a fuse," "When things go wrong." Especially in today's economic times, with gas prices sky rocketing, real estate taxes increasing, heating expenses going up, children's college tuition to pay, child support payments, lack of commission , etc. our wallets and bank accounts are feeling a humongous crunch. Everyone's lament is that prices keep going up, but the salaries remain the same, how are we going to survive? Not only do we have to contend with our overhead expenses, but also with other unexpected issues and calamities that interrupt the normal flow of our daily life; such as plans that go awry, accidents or sudden illnesses, unemployment, anticipated profits that fail to materialize, so on and so forth.
Some are fortunate to have a nest egg as a cushion to fall back on, while for others who live from hand to mouth, it becomes a frightening experience. What happens to each and every one of us does matter, but more important is "How we react to it." Three of the emotions that are normally displayed and I would label under STRESS in response to these calamities are "Fear, ""Anxiety," and "Hysteria". FEAR, is defined as "a continuing state or attitude of fright, dread, or alarmed concern, an uneasy feeling that something may happen contrary to one's desires," ANXIETY: " a tense emotional state characterized by fear and apprehension, regarding the future." HYSTERIA: abnormal excitement; wild emotionalism; frenzy. These all contribute to our state of mind when we react to "When things go wrong."

One has to meet his or her problem in a positive constructive way, no matter how dismal it may seem. There are those who have accepted the challenge and have won. Again it is not what happens to us, but HOW we react to it that counts. Life is a mirror, and it reflects back to us, whatever image we place before it. Every seed that we plant in the soil of life will bear fruit according to that seed. For example: If we are planting potatoes we will not reap oranges. Thoughts of failure and negativeness will not produce success. Life gives back to us exactly what we believe we can accomplish and believe what we are able to accept for ourselves in our own mind. No more and no less. We need not to set limitations on ourselves to all possibilities of excelling these calamities, "When things go wrong." Most of us live our lives within a limited circle. We set up barriers by limiting ourselves with "I cant’s," and other forms of self-condemnation and self-limitation. Here is a dot . which are you and me . Now we are the center of a circle without a circumference. In dealing with "When things go wrong, " we need to erase all limitations, stop making excuses etc., which we have been imposing upon ourselves, and move forward to successful accomplishments and finding successful solutions in rectifying all situations.

So you say "Okay, I am willing to admit that I have been defeated most of my life, so where do we go from here?" The ultimate challenge is that we are not "at the mercy of Fate," as the expression says "Que sera, sera...what will be will be.", thus clouding any possibilities for a better future. We can neutralize this image by establishing a positive frame of mind. Self-direction is what motivates us to pick up the pieces and start all over again. In order for you to achieve whatever you set out to do, you must believe in whatever you wish to achieve, accept its possibility and confidently expect it to be realized. These truths can be applied to every area of your life, whether it be your health, home, career, job or relationships, and in doing so you will lift your thoughts, and your vision to see beyond your needs, circumstances, or conditions that surround you, which will result in fear turning to courage and confidence, anxiety to calmness , and despair to faith and

Successful people do not fear failure because they really never expect to fail. Although they may be surrounded by scoffers, they do not deviate from the image that they have created for themselves. The only time one fails is when one comes to a halt.

 In closing, I leave you with the words of Walter D. Wintle which have been an inspiration to me:

"If you think you're beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you think you can't win, and know you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.

For out in the world you'll find
Success begins in a fellows will
For it's all in the state of mind.

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