Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Making Choices Turmoil or Tranquility? (1)

By Miriam B. Medina

Every day we are faced with making choices. It is a big part of our lives, it helps determine who we are, and at times it can be downright maddening. There are choices which we make automatically, without even thinking about them, and there are others that need to be given some serious consideration before we can reach a decision. Some of those choices are simple, they're about what we eat, what we wear, where we should go, and what products we buy, or whether we should or should not change the television channel. Other choices are more important, where should we live, whom should we marry, which career path should we follow, whether or not we should have surgery, what job do we take, where do we invest our money, which college should we attend, and the list continues. Even teen-ages are constantly faced with difficult choices, such as whether or not they should experiment with drugs, use alcohol, what friends should they hang out with, should they or should they not start smoking, drop out of high school, date, etc.

Being a decisive or indecisive person is a procedure which usually begins when you are young, becoming a permanent feature of your personality that will follow you throughout your academic life, as well as into adulthood. Regretfully, there are many unhappy individuals who are working in unsuitable jobs accepting low wages that make them unhappy.

Why is this? I think it's because of an indecisive nature that caused them to make the wrong choices that they feel they are stuck with.

Decision making can be, mentally exhausting. People who are uncertain, as the saying goes, "grow grass under their feet." These people are called procrastinators, which is the opposite of being a decisive, proactive person. Because of their insecurities, they are in constant turmoil. It takes their backs being forced against the wall in order for them to make a decision or choice. They hold out perpetually, looking for even better possibilities, which may never come. In the meantime, they let tremendous opportunities slip by. From easy choices to complex choices, they are dominated by fear. They lack confidence because of a fear of failure or fear of what others may think of them. The longer it takes for them to make up their minds, the longer that person's fearfulness will command his or her ability to deal with the issue.

This is often a procrastinator's mantra, "What do I do, I just can't make up my mind! "I don't know if I should invest in this business or not!" "I don't know if I should change jobs or stay where I am?" Their Indecision creates an unstable situation in both mind and body. As long as you are an indecisive person, you're weak, and will not be able to move at any time with full assurance. No one is ever guaranteed that the path they choose will be safe and secure, but that is what the procrastinator seeks, and it causes them more problems than good.

If and when these individuals do make their choice, they wallow in anxiety as to whether or not it was the right choice. No matter what they choose, they will always find a reason as to why that choice was wrong, subjecting themselves to unnecessary physical and mental pressure, bemoaning what might have been. Regrets such as these dominate the procrastinator's mind: "I knew I shouldn't have agreed to marry him. What a bum he turned out to be, I thought he was going to take care of me, but it turned out to be the opposite." "I hate my job. I knew I should not have taken it. I should have gone to college when I had the chance instead of getting married. Now with three kids it's too late and I don't have the money." "I don't know why I agreed to buy this house, it's too much for me to handle and I don't even like where we live." "I hate this dress, it cost so much and it makes me look fat. I don't know why I picked it." "Why did I choose this car, what a lemon, it's been nothing but trouble since I got it?" "I don't know why I got into this business, I haven't been able to make any money yet, and I'm already in over my head," and so on and so forth.

The constant complaining in regards to adverse conditions that we bring upon ourselves through our choices often cause unfortunate conditions to continue, like a self-perpetuating wheel that turns itself and picks up steam as it rolls along from the wind it creates by turning. These individuals who make wrong choices find themselves railing at fate because they are mad they were forced to choose and then waited too long to do so. The complaining aggravates them and their situation, causes them to hate their fate more and procrastinate even more on other decisions. They lack self-direction, like a boat without a paddle, going nowhere..

Also, indecisive people are usually easily influenced by the opinion of others. When you live your life according to the opinions of others, you will not express your own desires and successfully complete whatever you want to achieve. The world loves a decisive person. Those who make decisions quickly and know what they want usually get it.

To be continued: (2)

To contact: miriammedina@earthlink.net

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