Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Dream It, Then Do It: Go Find Your Niche in Life: Part II

By Miriam B. Medina

This is part 2 of a 3 part series examining how we can get all of the things we want out of our lives, how we can carve our own happy niche in this world if we find the desire, believe in ourselves and work at it. In this first article, I explained the law of attraction and what it can do for us, that like gets like, and if you think and do the same things, you will get the same results. To change this you must figure out what you really want in life and identify your strengths and weaknesses, the weaknesses will prevent you from getting the results you desire. In this, part 2 of the article, I identify some very common weaknesses.
1. The Challenge of Indecision
This is an important factor that hinders many people from finding their niche in life, and it could hinder you. For some people making changes may appear to be quite an easy thing, while for others it is extremely difficult. All of our wishes and desires can become a reality if we keep them constantly before us without putting obstacles in our way, using excuses such as "ifs" and "buts". Indecision creates an unsettled condition in your mind and body. If you are always asking yourself, "I'm not sure if I should or I shouldn't do this" or telling yourself that "this is terrible, I just can't make up my mind," you will never get past first base.
As long as you are an indecisive person, you are weak and won't be able to move in any direction with full assurance. There is never a time when you will be guaranteed that any step you take will be safe and secure, so you cannot wait for such a chance. Wishing in itself will not produce the accomplishment of any dreams or goals you may have, you have to become a doer. You need to decisively make up your mind and take the plunge, moving forward with a burning desire to win or perish trying. If you keep at it and are persistent you will be amazed at where it could lead, even to the point of succeeding where you never thought you could.
2. The Challenge of Self-limitation
Another obstacle that can prevent you from finding your niche in life is called Self-limitation, which you may have been doing over the years. You need to stop it in order to open up the path that will change the course of your life. We can, at times, remain our own worst enemy. Some individuals would sell themselves short, underestimating their own capacity to succeed in life. Hidden deep within ourselves is an extraordinary and inexhaustible source of innovative ideas just waiting for us to make use of them.
Most of us live our lives within a limited circle. We set up barriers by limiting ourselves with "I cant's" and other forms of self-condemnation and Self-limitations. Consider a small dot that personifies you and me. In the center of a limited circle, closing in, the dot is consumed, locked in, closed off from possibilities that exist outside the small circle's line. Now we are the center of a circle without a circumference. The possibilities are limitless, the borders are open. When trying to find our niche in life, we need to eliminate all limitations, stop making excuses which we have been imposing upon ourselves, thus moving forward to undertake successful accomplishments.
When one changes the belief about one's self, about one's inner limitations, then the outer experiences will be changed as well. We do not want to impersonate another person's success in order to feel fulfilled or accomplished in life. We all have the knowledge and capacity on which to rely, to produce the same and even more such accomplishments. There are so many hidden talents within each of us that can be uncovered and developed today. Each one of us is unique, expressing ourselves in our own way.
3. The Challenge of Procrastination
There are individuals that go through life always testing the waters, waiting for the "time to be right to ever start doing something worthwhile." For them, there will never be the right time. Everything they say ends with, "I can't do it now but I will do it tomorrow" which never seems to happen. If and when they finally do decide to do something, the last-minute rush effort is often of poor quality. Many people procrastinate because of their insecurities. They dig their heels into the ground by convincing themselves that they do not have the necessary skills and talents to find their niche in life. In this case FEAR is the leading contributor, fear of failure, fear of being ridiculed by others, fear of what others might think of them. There is also a Fear of success. Some people may feel intimidated by success because they think they will become workaholics. They know that success will involve a lot of hard work, dedication, self-sacrifice and responsibilities. They are scared about whether or not they can meet those expectations. The battle has already been lost before it has begun. Every negative thought that is nurtured will always lead to a step in the wrong direction. Punishing yourself every time you realize you have put something off won't help you change. Instead, try rewarding yourself for your small accomplishments. Work with whatever you have and move forward, taking advantage of the opportunities that surround you. Let the results speak for themselves.
4.The Challenge of the Sad Sack "Woe is Me" Victim Mentality
Have you ever had an expectation in regards to something that you wanted very much only to see it fail to become a reality? Undoubtedly your first reaction toward this was a sense of great disappointment, followed by a feeling of discouragement. Let's assume, for example, a job seeker is trying to find his or her niche in their work life. The job seeker starts out with considerable expectations; well dressed, brisk walk, an excellent resume in hand, self-esteem all pumped up. That person is anticipating a strong economic future when he or she lands the job. How discouraging is it to be sitting at home, waiting for hours, days and even weeks, for the call that never comes.
Then there is the go-getter who wishes for something more than they are capable of doing. They set time limits to realize this accomplishment and when it doesn't happen he or she is devastated.
For these go-getters, not being able to see their expectations materialized provides a terribly crushing blow to their self-esteem. If the go-getters proceed to encounter more disappointments like this along the way, they will eventually believe that life is against them. They will begin to cultivate a "woe is me" victim mentality. The consistent practice of this victim mentality will earn them their rightful place as an inductee into the: "Sad Sack Whiner's Hall of Fame."
Sad sacks are chronic complainers. Because they are so negative in their outlook on life, people do their best to avoid them. From the moment they enter the room, the whole atmosphere changes. Sad sacks are easily spotted by their drooped shoulders, sagging chins, shuffled walk, averted eyes and expressionless faces. They spend their days hunched over, toting around baggage from all sorts of little upsets, imparting negative vibrations to everyone they meet. These individuals can't enjoy the present because they bemoan the past. They are even afraid to look forward to the future. Negative minded people get so immersed in their current difficulties and problems. They just can't seem to visualize the opportunities and wondrous things that may come their way. Constant complaining about adverse conditions that they brought upon themselves through poor choices and negative thoughts often causes unfavorable conditions to continue for them. These individuals find themselves railing at fate though it is their own choices and actions that create their environment. The complaining aggravates them and everyone else within listening range, causing them to hate their fate more. Sad Sacks have no direction in life. They are like a boat without a paddle, going nowhere, unhappy wherever they are.
Expressions such as: "It's just my luck; I'm always getting the short end of the stick." "Why, especially now, when I don't have the money, did this opportunity have to come? "How in the world am I supposed to achieve anything when I have so much already on my plate!" These types of negative thoughts allow the "woe is me" victim attitude to dominate your thoughts. This will hold you back from progress, preventing that creative energy from working through you and leading you to your niche in life. Guess what? That favorable lucky break that you have been waiting on for so long does not depend on luck, but years of hard work and determined effort. So get your head out of the sand, stop the whining, and start doing something useful to change your outlook on life.
5. The Challenge of Discouragement
No one is immune to discouragement. It comes to all of us at one time or another. If this feeling is nourished, it will keep you from finding your niche in life. I wanted to save this challenge for last, so I may reflect on my own personal experience which almost discouraged me at the time from finding one of my own niches in life. I would like to call it my: "Mimi Bloopers" First Performance Experience. In the last part of this 3 part article, I will share this real life experience with you to illustrate what it takes to go from a dreamer to a doer.
To be continued: Part III

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