How Do You Cope With Grief When Your Beloved Pet Dies?

By Miriam B. Medina

"What A wonderful world it would be, if pets could live forever."
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On August 25, 2012, my fourteen year old, beloved Cocker Spaniel "Buddy" had to be put to sleep. He was dying from cancer of the liver, which had metastasized throughout his body and into his lungs, making it difficult for him to breathe. No matter how hungry he was or how much food he devoured, he couldn't stop losing weight. The Vet said that he would only last another two or three weeks. He was constantly whimpering, suffering in pain. The most difficult decision that one must make is to euthanize their pet. Even when you have to take that step, because you love them so dearly, to end their suffering, it still hurts. Their pain may stop, which is a blessing, but yours is just beginning.
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For all of us who have pets, whether they be cats, dogs, or any other type of pet, they are tremendously valuable, important parts of our lives. We, as their owners, are also valuable to their lives. We are the center around which they gravitate, the food bowl by which they patiently wait, licking their chops for more love and attention. Our beloved pets give us an inner sense of peace, joy and happiness. Oh how they can make us laugh and smile. They ease our stress. They reward us in so many ways, their presence alone are more important to us than one can possibly imagine. Their adoring love and loyalty is unmatched in a world full of pain and sorrow.

And then they are gone.

Nonetheless, our pets will always leave us with moments and memories, joys that will last a lifetime. Moments that any true pet owner wouldn't trade for anything, in the course of their life. Our pets are irreplaceable, and after all those years of licking, doing tricks for us, lying by our feet, protecting and loving us, they leave us with one final gift, their memories.

Let me tell you a little bit about my beloved Buddy. He was such an extraordinarily sweet and gentle dog, which made me very happy. He would happily slobber all over my face, even after he had licked himself from head to toe. He didn't know any different. I guess it was his way of saying hello, I love you, but yuck, what foul breath he had.

With one slurp, he could turn fresh milk into cottage cheese. He could wilt flowers with one blast of his puppy halitosis. I wonder, sometimes, if he ate his own poop. It didn't matter, I loved him and I felt loved. My grief didn't start the day he died, it started before then, as it does with many pet owners. My worry and pain began as I saw him go from an energetic playful dog, to one slowed down by arthritic pain. That pain started to affect his hips in a very bad way. I felt terrible watching him as he moved along with great difficulty, trying to bounce around as he did as a puppy or bound through the house as he did as a young dog. With age, he wobbled as he walked. It was heart-breaking to watch. His health was failing him, horribly at the end.

Then the moment of decision came, that awful point in time that all pet owners face, sooner or later. I couldn't prolong his suffering, not for my own sake.

The process of Dog Euthanasia
Not only is one tormented by feelings of grief and guilt, but the regret of making such a terrible decision is overwhelming. Although one seems to be doing the animal a great service by relieving the poor beast's suffering, the emptiness and the guilt you feel is terribly unbearable. Am I doing the right thing? Maybe he could bounce back? Maybe the pain isn't that bad...

Then you see him struggle to get to the food bowl or he soils himself because getting up to go outside is too much for him, and you realize, it's time. Maybe it's past time, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Your whole world changes from that moment forward. It's turned upside down. The joy and happiness that you once felt is no longer there, it's replaced by fear, pain and guilt. You become listless and depressed, not knowing what to do with yourself. No matter where you look, there is always something that reminds you of your beloved pet. The house feels emptier, quieter, and lonelier in every way. Where once warm meows, hearty barks and wagging tails existed, there is emptiness now. A big part of you is missing, gone for good. Your pet won't be licking your face or your hands anymore, and you won't be laughing at his funny attention-getting ways.

So you ask yourself, "How do I cope without my best friend?"

Believe it or not, there are ways to cope with your grief, though it's never easy. Meditation can help, so that you become calm and relaxed, allowing you to deal with your grief. It doesn't replace the loss, but it might allow you to come to terms with it. Believe it or not, having a proper funeral, even a wake can help you deal with the loss. It may sound silly, but you'd do the same for a friend or family member, and what better friend or more loving family member will you ever have? Get out of the house too, don't stay shut in with the memories all of the time, compounding the pain. Take a walk; it will help you free your mind. Lastly, if and when you're ready, you can accept the responsibility of finding a new pet, a new friend and partner. This animal will not replace your original pet, no dog will ever be another Buddy, but a new pet will offer you new joys, a whole new outlook, and new memories to share. In the end, after time as you heal, you will remember your pet as what they were, as I remember Buddy, a loyal friend, a big part of my life, and a wondrous family member that made the world a better place, especially my world.

"It is said that the one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master." No author is mentioned. No author needs to be mentioned, because some sayings and some feelings are simply universal. I'll miss you Buddy.

TABLE OF CONTENTS: PETS

http://mimispeaks.blogspot.com/2012/09/table-of-contents-pets.html

ARTICLE
INDEX

1.How do you cope with grief when your beloved pet dies?

2. Did  you Hug your Dogs today? 

3. How Cats Can Steal Your Heart, Even Whey they Destroy Your Home..

4. How Your Cat Can Train You to Be a Better Owner.

5. I know Why the Doggie Barks and the Kitty Meows-Do You? 

6. Having A Dog Can Be Fun When Raised Properly

ARTWORK-CATS
Page: 1 

Page: 2

PHOTOS-CATS
 Page: 1 

Page: 2 

Page: 3

Are You Having A Pressure Cooker Day?

By Miriam B. Medina
This week has had its unexpected dilemma; two huge car repair bills, which deflated my finances. Naturally, I would not be truthful, if I didn't say that my immediate emotional reaction to all of this was one of high stress. Although I encourage having a positive outlook on life, I must admit that we all experience at one time or another in our lives these displays of emotions, of "hitting the roof, or blowing a fuse," "When things go wrong." Especially in today's economic times, with gas prices sky rocketing, real estate taxes increasing, heating expenses going up, children's college tuition to pay, child support payments, lack of commission , etc. our wallets and bank accounts are feeling a humongous crunch. Everyone's lament is that prices keep going up, but the salaries remain the same, how are we going to survive? Not only do we have to contend with our overhead expenses, but also with other unexpected issues and calamities that interrupt the normal flow of our daily life; such as plans that go awry, accidents or sudden illnesses, unemployment, anticipated profits that fail to materialize, so on and so forth. 

 Some are fortunate to have a nest egg as a cushion to fall back on, while for others who live from hand to mouth, it becomes a frightening experience. What happens to each and every one of us does matter, but more important is "How we react to it." Three of the emotions that are normally displayed and I would label under STRESS in response to these calamities are "Fear, ""Anxiety," and "Hysteria". FEAR, is defined as "a continuing state or attitude of fright, dread, or alarmed concern, an uneasy feeling that something may happen contrary to one's desires," ANXIETY: " a tense emotional state characterized by fear and apprehension, regarding the future." HYSTERIA: abnormal excitement; wild emotionalism; frenzy. These all contribute to our state of mind when we react to "When things go wrong."

One has to meet his or her problem in a positive constructive way, no matter how dismal it may seem. There are those who have accepted the challenge and have won. Again it is not what happens to us, but HOW we react to it that counts. Life is a mirror, and it reflects back to us, whatever image we place before it. Every seed that we plant in the soil of life will bear fruit according to that seed. For example: If we are planting potatoes we will not reap oranges. Thoughts of failure and negativeness will not produce success. Life gives back to us exactly what we believe we can accomplish and believe what we are able to accept for ourselves in our own mind. No more and no less. We need not to set limitations on ourselves to all possibilities of excelling these calamities, "When things go wrong." Most of us live our lives within a limited circle. We set up barriers by limiting ourselves with "I cant’s," and other forms of self-condemnation and self-limitation. Here is a dot . which are you and me . Now we are the center of a circle without a circumference. In dealing with "When things go wrong, " we need to erase all limitations, stop making excuses etc., which we have been imposing upon ourselves, and move forward to successful accomplishments and finding successful solutions in rectifying all situations.

 So you say "Okay, I am willing to admit that I have been defeated most of my life, so where do we go from here?" The ultimate challenge is that we are not "at the mercy of Fate," as the expression says "Que sera, sera...what will be will be.", thus clouding any possibilities for a better future. We can neutralize this image by establishing a positive frame of mind. Self-direction is what motivates us to pick up the pieces and start all over again. In order for you to achieve whatever you set out to do, you must believe in whatever you wish to achieve, accept its possibility and confidently expect it to be realized. These truths can be applied to every area of your life, whether it be your health, home, career, job or relationships, and in doing so you will lift your thoughts, and your vision to see beyond your needs, circumstances, or conditions that surround you, which will result in fear turning to courage and confidence, anxiety to calmness , and despair to faith and
hope.

Successful people do not fear failure because they really never expect to fail. Although they may be surrounded by scoffers, they do not deviate from the image that they have created for themselves. The only time one fails is when one comes to a halt.

In closing, I leave you with the words of Walter D. Wintle which have been an inspiration to me:


"If you think you're beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you think you can't win, and know you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.

For out in the world you'll find
Success begins in a fellows will
For it's all in the state of mind.

The Frustrated Artist Frees His Dreams-A Poem

  Painting by Aurelio Perniche

Poem by Miriam B. Medina

Whether you write, paint or simply doodle, you know how free you feel when you've created something great. When you've painted a scene from inside your head or you've written a song that expresses your soul, there is no greater feeling, nothing to make you feel more alive. But when you struggle to create, you suffer writer's block or can't find the muse, your inability can cause a deep frustration that makes the world seem like a lonely, bitter place. This poem is about the process of creating art, of finding inspiration when it seems like there will never be any inspiration again, and its about beating the frustration that all artists feel sooner or later, finding that spark that brings joy to your life!
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Why Does the moon always seem to laugh at me?
Does she enjoy my struggle and my pain?
She hides my muse within her misty veil,
Cunningly plotting to trick me again.
Another wretched day has ended,
My paint brush and palette lay deathly still,
My inspiration remains elusive, out of reach,
Thus the empty canvas taunts me at will.
'Paint me, Paint me fool,' it suddenly cries,
'Can't you see I'm naked and cold?
Cover me quickly with warm swirling colors,
Magical colors that flow and explode.
Sunny yellows, deep blues and violet,
And shocking pinks streaked with passionate reds.
Refreshing greens and exotic oranges,
Aren't any images floating around in your head?
Paint those brassy buxom beauties,
That drive the men crazy with their seductive lips.
Dress these women in wind-swept short skirts,
revealing voluptuous butts, thighs and hips.
What more could a man ask for?
Of course, with painted faces and red glossy lips,
They'll likely look like a bunch of whores,
Let's go, let your mind whirl and explore, need I say more?
So, come on now, don't just sit there,
With your hands parked behind your head.
Night's approaching, the day is dying,
It will soon be time for bed.'
'Silence, Silence,' the angry artist shouted,
'Or I will slice you and your emptiness to shreds!
How Can I paint when there's nothing but your canvass,
To inspire me and drag worthy images from my head?
You think it's that easy to paint?
Though it appears deceivingly so.
I'm trapped in a well of loneliness
With no lover to call my own.
I won't just paint any old thing,
That comes off the top of my head!
I want to create my masterpiece,
If not, let my talent stay dead!
Leave me be, leave me to my nocturnal sorrow,
Where sleep will allow me to thankfully forget,
And hope to find inspiration tomorrow,
So I can at least pay some of my debts.'
The Sun's gone down and the full moon streams
Through my windows, so beautiful and sweet,
Yet I toss and turn as beams caress my face
Because peaceful sleep eludes my embrace.
I lay awake, completely exhausted
As thoughts dance in my head,
The night seems to go on forever, so,
Maybe I'll go for a walk instead.
The cool breeze lightly kisses my cheeks,
The full moon hangs huge, low and bright,
Suddenly out of nowhere, my muse comes alive,
Crossing my path to lead me out of my plight.
She's a vision of loveliness, walking her dog.
She smiles and says 'hello and good night!'
My heart was smitten by cupid's arrow
And I know that I'll never again be right.
Excited, I returned home for some sleep, to dream away my sorrow.
In dreams I danced with my loveliness, cheek to cheek,
As my buxom beauties bounced around beside us,
Singing sweet songs, coming so alive, their cheap perfume made the air reek.
When I awoke, emotion and dreams sprung from my brush,
I filled canvas with the inner depths of my soul,
I began to paint, stroke after stroke, with vivid colors
Leaving impressions quite pretty, yet bold.
I am alive again, can't you see, my soul has been freed,
My muse is no longer trapped by the night and the moon.
I found inspiration and beauty and found my reprieve
So it was worth it, and I'll do it all again very soon!

My source of inspiration for writing this poem was based on the artwork of Aurelio Perniche.



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