By Miriam B. MedinaAn extraordinary moment can be defined as something out of the ordinary, something great or astonishing, "far exceeding the usual; exceptional; remarkable." It is an occurrence or a realization that may change one's life forever. Once it happens, the effect is fleeting, instantly a thing of the past, but the images of that moment are strongly etched in one's memory or sub-consciousness, to which only a small percentage of it can be realistically conjured up.
People want extraordinary moments flowing in and out of their daily lives. The more of these moments they have, the better.
The immediate reaction to an extraordinary moment is one of happiness or bliss, and it often results in tears of joy, laughter, ecstatic shouts, or a profound warm feeling or simple grin...
Extraordinary moments are interpreted differently by most people. For some, an extraordinary moment could be the joy of their wedding day; the birth of their first-born; his or her manuscript finally accepted by a publisher; a promotion to a terrific job long overdue; the exhilarated feeling of one's first love; winning in sports; getting a first driver's license; being ordained into the ministry; getting accepted by the college of his or her choice; or reaping rewards from a long awaited investment that ultimately paid off, and so on.
However, once the novelty and excitement of that fleeting ecstatic moment passes, and one is caught up in daily routine and responsibility, life is viewed differently. For some people, emotions of a negative nature begin to manifest themselves. Anxiousness, fear, discouragement, failure, inadequacy, frustration, anger, disappointment, resentment and rejection set in. These negative feelings encourage some to look forward to an "imagined future time when things will eventually work itself out, or that they will become more financially stable in the hopes of improving their situation." Yet there are others whose lives are improved by these experiences, believing that they have lived their lives fully, translating their experiences into positive sentiments.
Optimistic people have learned how to manage their emotions, dealing effectively with stress, anger and fear. They look for the good in every situation; find opportunities inside every problem, becoming more flexible in coping with different circumstances, building harmonious relationships with loved ones and coworkers. For the optimistic person, who is ready and well adjusted, memories will only provide abundant treasures and tools to work with. A depressed person will make it his or her duty to remain unhappy by focusing only on the negative aspects of life, constantly complaining about this and that, attracting more of the same negativity into their lives. The consequences of where both of these individuals are and what they have is based on the choices and decisions which they have made "beyond the extraordinary moment."
People can be happy if they make up their minds to be so. The confident person attracts happiness, while the negative person will resist it. The home is where the greater part of one's life is spent with family. The home, a residence intended to be a safe haven for sharing extraordinary moments of love and happiness, sadly, for some, has become a battlefield of aggression and hostile thoughts, whose residents do not benefit from peaceful relationships. Spouses are in conflict. Children are in constant battle with their parents. In some cases, the element of intimidation and control is evident through verbal, mental and physical abuse. Children who come from a highly stressful home environment are inundated by it, which does not give them a chance to deal with their own emotions. Parents, who are always in conflict, can not be a role model to their children if they have not learned how to use the skills of emotional intelligence.
Many parents set themselves up for major disappointments, with expectations which they want their children to respond to, failing to realize that their child's character is different from their own. They have hopes and dreams of their own. This contributes to the problems and conflicts between them...
Think of it this way; you are now the proud owner of your first home or your dream home, you have been scrimping and saving for your whole life. Once the experience of that memorable moment is over, attaining the home, you begin to focus on other things that you want. As you begin to meet each desire, others surface, adding to the already overburdened wish list. You have the home but not enough help to move in; your furniture doesn't match the house, the kitchen isn't functional, etc. So the more you want, the less happy you feel.
Or this type of reaction to the attainment of an extraordinary moment occurs:
"Hey, congratulations, I hear you finally got that promotion to that fantastic job you have been working so long for. Wow! That must have been an extraordinary moment for you."
"Yes, it was at the time..."
"Oh, what happened?"
"That extra money in my paycheck looked good at first, but then after taxes, it didn't add up to much. Between the monthly payments and insurance coverage for my Porsche, the kid's braces, and my son and daughter's college tuition, even with the promotion, I don't seem to make any progress. And there's so much more responsibility. The position just doesn't meet my expectations!"
"May I ask why?"
"I've been putting in longer hours and I'm basically getting paid the same, though I got a raise. My family complains they do not see enough of me. There is not a day that goes by that I'm not uptight. I hate the perfume my secretary wears all the time; it gives me such a headache. I can not stand my new boss, what a pain. Not a day goes by that he does not find fault with my work." Etc., Etc.
This person sounds like someone who is extremely frustrated and angry with his or her job, though they have the job they wanted. If this individual is discontent because of the new job, then he or she must be distressed away from it, as well. This person maintains a Negative Mental Attitude.
Now, on the bright side, let's talk about the people that use a Positive Mental Attitude. Whether these individuals are experiencing mental and emotional conflicts or frustrations, they are motivated to take a positive view of the situation as well as of themselves to see how they can improve and correct it. Take the same situation, the promotion example. The positive thinker is determined to learn more about their role as well as the background of the company they work for, so that they can become more proficient toward making their work environment satisfactory. They will do whatever they have to do, even setting mini goals for themselves. Although, the promotion has been a disappointment, they look at each obstacle as a stepping stone to something much better. This will enable them to change their disadvantages to advantages....
So now I ask you, when was the last time you had an extraordinary moment? Is fear holding you back from living an extraordinary life? Fear of failure, fear of being poked fun at and fear of what others may think of you, even fear of success? Would you prefer to live with neurotic patterns rather than make changes? Do you remain in a state of lethargy and inaction? Get out of the rut you are in, and begin to explore new horizons. Did you happen to fail in business, one that you started? Do not forget that you still have the creativity and ingenuity, with which you originally succeeded. You can develop another company using the same ideas but with the experience you gained, which will result in a much more successful and prosperous accomplishments. Get rid of the Self-limitations which you have been imposing upon yourself, keeping you from achieving success and experiencing extraordinary moments in your life. When you change your thought process, the outer experiences will change as well. Work with whatever skills and talents you have and move forward, taking advantage of the opportunities that surround you, let the outcome speak for itself.
Are you feeling discouraged? That's normal; it comes to all of us at one time or another. Sometimes failure to achieve a goal may lead to a more rewarding experience so do not remain in that state of discouragement which will keep you from experiencing more extraordinary moments. Heed the positive; you will be amazed at how influential people, excellent opportunities and advantageous situations will present themselves in ANY situation. A failure or an obstacle presents an opportunity, use that philosophy to bring any dream to fruition. Ditch the "woe is me" attitude; you are not at the mercy of fate. I reiterate, what you have and where you are now are the effects of all the choices and decisions you make in your life. Life will give back exactly what you believe you can accomplish and are able to accept for yourself in your own mind. No more, no less.
I reiterate, people can continue to be happy "beyond the extraordinary moment," if they make up their minds to do so. Happiness depends on how you approach life and relate to the people that you interact with.
I leave you with this quote:
"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, and all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be." - Santiz Patanjali -
Simply put, don't tie yourself down with negative thought, free yourself with positive thoughts, and the world can become an extraordinary place, not just a series of extraordinary moments followed by let downs. Good luck!
To contact: miriammedina@earthlink.net.
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