By Miriam B. Medina
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Whatever pain and suffering that you may have experienced in the past belongs to the past. If it continues to exist now, it is because you keep inflicting it upon yourself repeatedly, refusing to let go of the memory. As long as you go on thinking wrongly about yourself and about life, the same difficulties will continue to harass you. The more the injured party focuses on his or her negative emotions, rehashing all past hurts, pain and feelings, especially when trust is shattered, the more likely it is to turn into an obsession, disturbing that person's sleep and daily activities, causing adverse health conditions as well, and may cause serious problems with how they interact with people. We all know that there are things in a relationship that can be changed, but there are other things that the injured person is unable to forgive.
When it comes to having a partner who takes advantage of communicative verbal abuse and violence, which may end in tragedy, there can't be anything good eventually coming from that relationship. If your partner does not want to admit that he or she has serious issues and needs professional help in this situation, then I strongly urge, for safety, that you disassociate yourself from the relationship, because things will get worse. If you remain in the relationship because you think you can change your abusive partner into a better human being, forget about it. It doesn't matter how many apologies, I love you's and crocodile tears they may shed, it's all an act. If you believe in this fairy tale, then you are placing your life at risk The abuser will not do anything to change, or see themselves being at fault unless they truly make efforts to do so. The abuser doesn't like this to happen because it relinquishes his or her control, which the individual needs to thrive on. It gives the abuser absolute pleasure to see you squirm. So wake up and smell the coffee, because this is as good as it will ever get. Trust me, I should know because, at one time, I was a silent victim for years, one who suffered emotional, psychological and physical abuse at the hands of my alcoholic husband. He was my fatal attraction. It was fear that kept me in that situation, and fear that finally got me out of it. Believe me, you are not alone. Contact the Domestic Violence shelter in your area, and get them involved, they know what to do and how to get you safely away from circumstances you are in.
If you are in a relationship that is worth saving, and if both of you are willing to work at it with a genuine enthusiasm and strong commitment, then I say good luck and best of success to you.
Nonetheless, if after all efforts have been made and love is actually lost between both partners, prepare yourself emotionally and mentally for the possibility that the relationship cannot be saved and move on with your life.
So if, you're discontented with the world you have created for yourself, then start thinking and acting in a positive way about yourself, your relationships, and all that concerns you. In doing this, you will create a new mold from which to create a new series of events that will be more to your liking and will help you in the pursuit of happiness. Amazingly, in the process, one might even meet and fall in love with someone who will help you to become more fulfilled and more deeply loved. The main challenge is overcoming the feeling that we are "at the mercy of Fate" as the saying goes, "Que sera sera...what will be will be". This feeling clouds any possibilities for a better future. We can offset this concept by establishing an effective frame of mind. Self-direction is what motivates us to pick up the pieces and start again. "In order, for you to achieve whatever you set out to do, you must believe in whatever you want to obtain, accept its feasibility and confidently expect it to be realized." These truths can be applied to every area of your life, whether they be your health, home, career, or relationships. By maintaining a positive mental attitude, you will enhance your thoughts and your imagination. Allowing you to see beyond your needs, circumstances, or conditions that surround you. This will eventually allow you to turn anxiety into courage and confidence, regard to calmness, and despair to faith and hope.
So Why Do All Good Things Eventually Come To An End? I think we already know the answer to that question. Don't we?
Some things just weren't very good to begin with, and we need to learn from each challenge and move on.
Miriam B. Medina is an expert Author at Platinum Level at EzineArticles.com
To contact: miriammedina@earthlink.net
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