Monday, November 23, 2009

Disappointment versus Discouragement

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Today is one of those days that I would like to skip the strong coffee, forget about everything I am supposed to do and crawl back into the comforts of my bed for a couple more hours. Sounds pretty discouraging right? However, this is not the case. After researching, transcribing and writing non-stop over the weekend, to keep my blog and website updated, oh by the way I was also able to put a dent in my paperwork that was piled so high on my desk....I can't believe I did all this. What a burst of energy I had, but this morning I am totally wiped out and not in the mood to even go to work.

Considering the fact that I didn't give in to my disappointed whim, I am here now, back at my old familiar drawing board with my strong cup of coffee next to me, trying to think about what I should say to you, which would offer encouragement in starting your day.

Judging by the title of today's blog, I guess you already have an idea of what I want to talk about. "Disapointment versus Discouragement."

First, A distinction should be made between being disappointed and being discouraged. The Readers Digest Great Encyclopedic dictionary defines Disappointment as follows: 1) "To fail to fulfill the expectation, hope, or desire of (a person). 2. To prevent the fulfillment of (a hope or dream). What is Discouragement? The dictionary defines discouragement as follows; "a feeling of despair in the face of obstacles; or a state of distraught and loss of sense of enthusiasm, drive or courage."

Have you ever had an expectation about something that you wanted very much and it failed to become a reality? Undoubtedly, your first reaction toward this was a sense of great disappointment followed by discouragement. How many job seekers start out with great expectations; well dressed, briskly walk, an excellent resume in hand , their self-esteem all pumped up, anticipating a bright financial future when they land the job, only to become totally discouraged, sitting at home, waiting hours, days and even weeks for the "I'll call you" that never comes. This leaves the job seeker even more alone and much discouraged.

We all know that with the holidays approaching, everyone, especially the kids are all geared up with their "What I want for Christmas or Hanukkah ” list. In trying to fulfill the expectations of their loved ones, some brave mothers will even dare to venture a tug of war showing up at the crack of dawn at Wal-Mart’s, or whatever retail store that opens early, the day after thanksgiving. For whatever reason, there is always an item that has been advertised, that every kid MUST have. However, for those who did not see their expectations materialized, it becomes a terrible disappointment.

How many parents are disappointed with their child, when he or she decides not to go to college, crashing all their hopes and dreams to pieces? Some parents that were not able to have the opportunity to go to college when they were young adults, sometimes end up pushing their child in that direction, whether he or she wants to. Naturally the reaction to their disappointment would be one of judgment and condemnation. In looking on the positive side of this situation, the decision of not going to college took courage, and was perhaps very difficult for him or her to make. It is possible that this young adult may want this education at a later date, making a greater effort for himself or herself at that time. Remember, to avoid disappointments, whatever hopes and dreams that we may have for another must coincide with the hopes and dreams of the other person.

No one is immuned to discouragement. It comes to all of us at one time or another. Life is an unfolding process, where we "move from comparative ease to points of crisis."

When you are faced with discouragement, find yourself a notepad, and begin to write on one side of the paper all the negative situations that are contributing to your state of mind , then on the other side write all the possibilities of a solution to these situations. In so doing, you are putting less focus on the negative and concentrating more on the positive, and answers will begin to appear. When we give our attention to the positive it will then become our experience. .

Self-direction is what motivates us to pick up the pieces and start all over again. In order for you to achieve whatever you set out to do, you must believe in whatever you wish to achieve, accept its possibility and confidently expect it to be realized. These truths can be applied to every area of your life, whether it be your health, home, career, job or relationships, and in doing so you will lift your thoughts, and your vision to see beyond your needs, circumstances, or conditions that surround you, which will result in fear turning to courage and confidence, anxiety to calmness, and despair to faith and hope.

Miriam Medina is the author of this article: To Contact: miriammedina@earthlink.net
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