Monday, December 31, 2007
Several years ago I lived in Florida for a short time. One day while I was waiting on line to cash out my groceries, at the local super market, I was chatting with my friend when the man that was behind me, asked me a question."Excuse me you're from New York right?" Surprised, I looked at him and said, "Yeah! Why ya askin?" "Not for anything, but you talk with a unique accent." "Whaddya mean accent?" I responded, feeling self-conscious. I was trying hard not to show my annoyance as I told him, "So whadsa madda wid da way Noo Yawkers tawk?” The man seeing that I was becoming defensive, answered immediately and without even the slightest hesitation, "Please don't take offense, its just that you kind of talk like a hood" "Gedoutahea, I tawk like a hood?" I never realized that my East Harlem accent stood out, until the day this man brought it to my attention.
Naturally over the years my pronunciation has greatly improved, except for the holiday get-togethers with my nieces and nephew of the Italian side of the family from Yonkers, then it all comes back. Love it, love it, love it...................
Here are a couple of words and expressions still being used by some Noo Yawkers. "Whaddya tawkin? Pronounced waddya talkin' or wuddya talkin'. It simply means "what are you talking about?" or "what do you mean?"."I'm a Noo Yawka, Didn'chat know that?" " Gedoutahea, yer pudding me on! " "Yeah, I kum fun Noo Yawk." "Would ja ged a grip!" " Did'ju or did'ja," "Would'ju or would'ja, ". "Soopah (Super)," " Fur sur I'm ohn the fawth floor," "Wawda (water)," "I'll have a tooner samwidge: (tuna sandwich)," " I live on a hun'six near Toid". "Gimme a cup of cawfy (coffee)," " Who's dat goil? (girl)," " I shudda had my brudda over the udda day," " My mudda and fodda are goin downashaw ohn Lawnguylund, " "Datsawayigoze (That's the way it goes)," "Youse (you)," " I wud be da foist to tell you if my brudda was na here," "Fugheddaboudit! I ain't saying nuttin," "Gwan, gedoutahea before I call the cops" "Gimme a slizer pizzer anna soder."
If you have any more to add to this list feel free to contact me.
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Sunday, December 30, 2007
As you entered the overcrowded tenement buildings, you were greeted with a nauseating stench emanating from unwashed bodies, rags, old bottles, stale cooking odors and accumulating garbage heaps in the rooms. Decaying grease adhering to waste-pipes from kitchen sinks added its putrid odor to the foul emanations. These tenement buildings were dangerous firetraps, as well as a breeding place for murderous rodents that would kill babies in their cribs. The poor did not have the luxury of water, especially if they lived on the upper level. Water had to be carted from the fire hydrant in the street and carted upstairs.........
The Five Points district, tenement fires, murders, rape, child abuses, images and police brutality all find their way to thehistorybox.com. "Tenement Living and Pressing Social Issues of Urban Life" located in the NYC Main Directory offers the reader a glimpse of tenement living during the mid 1800s into the early 1900s.
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Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Keep reassuring your child, teen-ager, young adult that you will always be there for them no matter what. Whether you believe it or not, they ARE listening and it will mean so much to your child, for him to hear you say that. Not only say you love her unconditionally, but follow up with affection. Human warmth is the best physical communication that brings its own special kind of reassurance for both parent and child. . Help them take dominion of their life once again, rebuild their self-confidence and self-esteem and in so doing you will make them feel safe.
America needs her young people to ensure its success and future as a nation, so it is up to each and every one of us doing our individual part as parents, educators and community leaders, to keep our young people drug free.
WHEN YOU LOVE A CHILD……………….GET INVOLVED
Source for some of this information: National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information, P.O. Box 2345, Rockville, MD 20847-2345
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I leave these thoughts with you....Goodbye for now.....Until the next time....When "Mimi Speaks."
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Even if you have done an outstanding job of educating and nurturing the child in your care, some children will still remain curious about alcohol,tobacco, and illegal drugs. This is why it is important for you to prepare yourself in as much background information as you can on the names of drugs used and the street names by which they are called, so that you can explain the consequences associated with them.
Not only should you have open communication with your child, but you need to get involved in their activities, praising her accomplishments. You will be amazed at how much this quality time of special activities, whether it is reading a book, playing a game of your child's choice or going on an outing, is essential to building a strong parent-child relationship. When a child feels the love and support of a parent through the many phases of his childhood, where they can express themselves without fear of rejection or recrimination, this becomes the foundation for their not turning to substance abuse as a way of dealing with stress..
It is important when in making rules, that you explain the need for them as well as being consistent in its enforcement, not forgetting to mention about what the consequences will be, if the rules are broken, whether it be behavior at home, chores, schoolwork and so on and so forth.
Leniency or harshness in establishing rules may not always give positive results. Parents who have a warm relationship with their children, while maintaining rules for behavior, can teach children self-discipline.
Finally, monitor your child's relationships, especially the friends that he spends time with, and the places where they hang out in after school hours. Monitor her Internet usage, text messaging, and social networking sites. Monitoring does take a parent's energy, time, and attention,but the outcomes are well worth the effort!
To Be Continued: When You Love A Child (6)
Drug use among our teens and young adults, is non-discriminatory. It cuts across all ethnic, geographic and socioeconomic lines. Youth experience pressure to use alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs at increasingly early ages. Most teens who do not give into drug and substance use, credit their parents as a major factor in that decision.
In making a comparison between the sexes, studies show that girls may lose self-confidence and self-worth during puberty, become less physically active, perform less well in school, and neglect their own interests and inspirations. During these years, girls are more vulnerable to negative outside influences and to mixed messages about risky behaviors. Girls are also at higher risk than boys for sexual abuse, which has been associated with substance abuse. Among boys, puberty tends to increase aggressive behavior, which occurs a year or two later than it does in girls. Boys tend to experience mood swings and can have feelings of anxiety during puberty. During these years, boys crave exploration of things associated with being grown up, including sexual behavior or experimentation with alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs. This is where the guidance, and nurturing from parents help them grow into healthy, well-informed adolescents and adults, so that they have the ability to adapt to changing circumstances, and a belief in their ability to "handle things."
When you love a child, you need to get into the habit of talking with them everyday. The more you know about your child, the easier it will be to guide him toward more positive activities and friendships. It's important not to be critical. Positive reinforcement and constructive support are more effective in influencing children's behavior than criticism. If you are successful in establishing open lines of communication with your child about day-to-day events, she will be more likely to seek your input on more serious issues as well.
To Be Continued: When You Love A Child (5)
The medical / psychiatric community and its professional organizations--especially the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and the National Institute of Mental Health. The AMA and APA are even now attempting to persuade the FDA to withdraw the newly required label warnings about the risks posed by antidepressants and stimulant drugs.
Physicians and medical institutions that have grown wealthy from their collaboration with the pharmaceutical industry have created a drug addiction epidemic that puts the community's safety at risk.
Perfectly healthy children, teenagers, pregnant women have become victims of professional drug pushers who are licensed by the government.
CASA notes: "The explosion in the prescription of addictive opioids, depressants and stimulants has, for many children, made their parents' medicine cabinet a greater temptation and threat than the illegal street drug dealer." Parents who do not want to become inadvertent drug pushers should consider locking their medicine cabinets," said Califano. "While many parents lock their liquor cabinets, most do nothing to ensure that controlled prescription drugs are not accessible to children."
Although there are programs such as Drug Abuse Resistance Education, better known as DARE or D.A.R.E., which is an international education program that seeks to prevent use of illegal drugs,membership in gangs, and violent behavior, what can you as a parent do to help your child excel in school, stay healthy and develop to his or her fullest potential?
When you love a child, you need to talk to them about alcohol, smoking and illegal drugs. You need to explain to them how these substances can affect their studying, causing grades to suffer by affecting memory and learning skills. Show how substance abuse creates problems among relationships, friends and families. If that child or young adult has hopes of going to college, explain to them how drugs will interfere with their attaining academic goals and so on and so forth.
To be continued: When You Love A Child (4)
"Our nation is in the throes of an epidemic of controlled prescription drug abuse and addiction," said Joseph A. Califano, Jr., CASA's chairman and president and former U.S. Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare. "While America has been congratulating itself in recent years on curbing increases in alcohol and illicit drug abuse, and in the decline in teen smoking, abuse of prescription drugs has been stealthily, but sharply, rising."
A report by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) about a survey of 979 physicians and 1,030 pharmacists from July 21 to October 31, 2004, provides shocking findings about the explosive abuse of addictive prescription drugs:
"From 1992 to 2003, abuse of controlled prescription drugs grew at a rate twice that of marijuana abuse; five times that of cocaine abuse; 60 times that of heroin abuse."
To be continued: When You Love A Child (3)
Not only are the teens and young adults, consuming alcohol, smoking cigarettes and experimenting with illegal drugs, but also have included the pharmaceutical abuse of prescription drugs and over the counter medicines which is currently escalating at an alarming rate. "Pharm parties" known also as pill-popping parties are organized among the youths, where fistfuls of prescription drugs which have been collected from their family medicine chest, would be swallowed without thinking of the consequences. Potentially lethal combinations of alcohol, drugs and painkillers such as Vicodin and OxyContin or stimulants such as Ritalin or Adderall have sent many of them if lucky, to emergency rooms overdosed, or tagged D.O.A., to an anguished parent's heartbreak. An over the counter cough medicine abuse is something people don't really know about or ever think would be a problem, and it’s important for parents to know that it can be just as dangerous and prominent as other drugs.
To continue: When You Love A Child......Get Involved (2)
I love to watch the Animal Planet channel. I find it to be very interesting. I like to observe the reactions of the lions or tigers, when they are approaching their prey. In one moment, the lion or the tiger is relaxed, and then the next moment it is tense, poised, and ready to spring upon its victim. When it does spring it is using all of the energy stored up during its period of relaxation. Maybe we can take a lesson from this.
Life is an unfolding process, where we "move from comparative ease to points of crisis." Although there are many do's and don’ts that I could suggest, that would be helpful to you, in lessening your stress on the Merry-Go-Round of the Clock, but then everyone's situation and circumstances are different. So really it is up to each and every one of us, to find a solution that would minimize some what, the demand of the self-imposed time schedules that would end up resulting beneficial to all concerned.
Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, Goes The Merry-Go-Round of the Clock.
"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have,and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. " ~Carl Sandberg
Goodbye for now..........Until the next time................when "Mimi Speaks."
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How often we will hear someone say "I'm so stressed out....there are not enough hours in the day, to do all the things which I have to do." Remember the time schedules that we allow to govern our days and nights are of our own doing. We have no one to blame but ourselves. "We are always shoving life around, trying to fit as much as we can, according to our time schedule as it relates to our concept of space."
What is space? An interval or area between or within points or objects."
"What then is time? If no one asks me, I know what it is. If I wish to explain it to him who asks, I do not know. ~Saint Augustine.
You got that right Saint Augustine...I can't even explain it myself. Let's hear what Jack E. Addington has to say, so that we may be enlightened on this subject.
"For time to be understood, we must realize that time depends upon space. Space is the measurement. It is through space that we are able to measure time; time is the interval that it takes for an object to move from one point in space to another point in space. The concepts of time and space are essential to each other; each is dependent upon the relative value of the other." (J.E.A.)
To Be Continued:
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
"Volunteering can be an exciting, growing, enjoyable experience. It is truly gratifying to serve a cause, practice one's ideals, work with people, solve problems, see benefits, and know one had a hand in them." Harriet Naylor
However, there is also another area, which many have the tendency to overlook and that is the field of Genealogy and History which is also in dire need for volunteer transcribers. Over the last several decades , there has been a growing interest in matters pertaining to both of these areas. That natural instinct which prompts one to love the place of his or her birth, to know the history of the origin and descent of a family or race, and the circumstances in the lives of our progenitors is attracting the attention of the intellectual public, in their never ending pursuit for answers.
While subscription sites are appearing everywhere on the web, there are those that continue to offer free access to its vast wealth of information. This has been a major undertaking for them. Volunteers, who sincerely have a passion for history and genealogy have devoted their time and own money to researching and gathering information from primary sources, as well as transcribing them so that they may be uploaded to the web for the benefit of the public.
Please let us not forget to always be appreciative of all free services that we have received from the efforts of volunteers. "Thank you" is one of the most positive words that we can communicate, yet it is the least used. Thank you expresses gratitude. Just saying a simple" thank you "can make all the difference in the world. It encourages that volunteer to go the extra mile, when he or she is being appreciated. Not only thank the volunteers but don't forget to thank the administrators of websites, organizations and humanitarian causes that make it all possible to present these free services and information to you.
As the year 2007 is gradually disappearing and the dawn of a new year 2008 is approaching, we are standing on the threshold of a new beginning. The starting of a new year gives us a chance to strengthen important relationships with family and friends, to take stock of our lives and change directions if we need to. Let us not grow weary in doing what is right. Let us become productive persons, by working hard, using our intellect and daring to be enterprising. Whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all. Remember "Giving of Yourself Goes a Long Way” in making a difference.
"But history will judge you, and as the years pass, you will ultimately judge yourself, in the extent to which you have used your gifts and talents to lighten and enrich the lives of your fellow men. In your hands lies the future of your world and the fulfillment of the best qualities of your own spirit." Kennedy, Robert F. Politician (1925-1968)
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There are many non-profit organizations that are in desperate need for help and don't have the money to hire someone. They would be elated to get a call from you offering your services. The understaffed nursing homes have a great need for individuals who can donate their time to holding the hand of a forgotten soul, whether they are aware of your presence or not. Many of the ladies would love someone to give them the beauty treatment. If you are a musician or a singer you can contribute your musical talents to entertaining those that live in nursing homes. I myself found this to be a rewarding experience, during my younger years. It is amazing to watch how these performers are able to stimulate memories and movement of lifeless bodies into vocal and physical expression. Though the efforts of one person may seem minute, it will have an important impact on someone.
"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." -- Aesop
Volunteering requires a lot of hard work, time, energy and in some cases, money. Your efforts to a worthy cause, will help that particular organization to economize money that would otherwise be spent on labor. Volunteer work is necessary to our American economy.
The people who give of themselves are of all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, religions, and financial levels.They are all making a difference in their communities as well as in their own lives. Volunteers are happy people. They are accomplishing extraordinary things. Once you get started, you will be surprised at how much creative talent there is within you. Although volunteers are not receiving remuneration for their services, the work that they accomplish is worth more to them than any money they could ever receive.
So you say: "Okay, okay I get the picture. So then where are the benefits of being a volunteer?"
Here are a few reasons which I have provided:
1. Your social life will improve, because you will make new friends.
2. Volunteering builds up self-worth and self-confidence.
3. You gain work experience which looks good on your resume. Employers will get a glimpse of your values as well as appreciate that you are well-rounded and active in your community..
4. You can develop and experience greater skills which may be helpful to you in getting a better paying job.
5. It also is great for relieving anxiety, and stress, by keeping you in a positive frame of mind.
We are currently in an economic crisis. With gas, food prices and everything else continuing to go up, many families are finding themselves unable to meet their monthly mortgage payments facing possible foreclosure. Retired seniors on fixed income, individuals with insufficient income, as well as those that are unemployed are also having a tough time, in keeping up with their rent obligations. Parents who have their child in a higher education are feeling the crunch of the current economic atmosphere. "Many of the State universities have no other choice than to have started off the new school year with tuition increases, as legislature slashes their budgets even further." It is also a time when people are changing jobs, seeking employment, being fired, and trying to hang onto jobs they already have. It is a dismal picture that would discourage most individuals from making any attempt at being generous.
Reactions to a charitable cause donation request would probably be: “Don’t look at me, I don't have it. How in the world am I supposed to give any kind of donation, when every dollar that comes into my home is needed to pay for my mortgage and living expenses. This is impossible.Not really, there is another wonderful way of giving of yourself, without reaching into your pocket book or wallet to make a monetary donation and that is to volunteer. Volunteering can be a most effective gift that one can give to any worthy cause. When you volunteer you are giving of your time and expert knowledge. People who volunteer feel better emotionally, physically and psychologically.You can start out by choosing a small way to make a positive impact somewhere. Volunteering has its rewards. It is also a great way of overcoming a negative attitude. It helps you to take away your attention from the object of your worry, and place it on the need of someone else. Some choose to volunteer in their community while others volunteer from the comfort of their home. There are many outlets and opportunities to which you can contribute your special talents such as in the areas of working with youth, social services, hospitals, education, sports, culture, recreation as well as genealogical and history websites. When you volunteer, you set the time within your schedule. You can give one hour each week, or devote many hours to your choice of worthy cause.
"Go out and do something for somebody. Go out and give something to somebody.It will take you away from yourself and make you happy.
Joseph Jefferson (1829-1905)
Sunday, December 2, 2007
In closing, I leave you with the words of Walter D. Wintle which have been an inspiration to me:
For It's All in the State of Mind
"If you think you're beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you think you can't win, and know you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
For out in the world you'll find
Success begins in a fellows will
For it's all in the state of mind.
For many a race has been lost
Nor even a step has been run
And many a coward has fallen
Before his works begun.
Think big, and your deeds will grow.
Think small and you'll fall behind.
Think that you can, and you will.
For it's all in the state of mind.
The race doesn't always go
To the bigger or faster man
But the race sometimes goes
To the Man who thinks he can."
Goodbye for now…..until the next time….when “Mimi Speaks.”
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Successful people do not fear failure because they really never expect to fail. Although they may be surrounded by scoffers, they do not deviate from the image that they have created for themselves. The only time one fails is when one comes to a halt.
To be continued...............What We Can Do When Things Go Wrong (4)
One has to meet his or her problem in a positive constructive way, no matter how dismal it may seem. There are those who have accepted the challenge and have won. Again it is not what happens to us, but HOW we react to it that counts. Life is a mirror, and it reflects back to us, whatever image we place before it. Every seed that we plant in the soil of life will bear fruit according to that seed. For example: If we are planting potatoes we will not reap oranges. Thoughts of failure and negativeness will not produce success. Life gives back to us exactly what we believe we can accomplish and believe what we are able to accept for ourselves in our own mind. No more and no less. We need not to set limitations on ourselves to all possibilities of excelling these calamities, "When things go wrong." Most of us live our lives within a limited circle. We set up barriers by limiting ourselves with "I cant’s," and other forms of self-condemnation and self-limitation. Here is a dot . which are you and me . Now we are the center of a circle without a circumference. In dealing with "When things go wrong, " we need to erase all limitations, stop making excuses etc., which we have been imposing upon ourselves, and move forward to successful accomplishments and finding successful solutions in rectifying all situations.
So you say "Okay, I am willing to admit that I have been defeated most of my life, so where do we go from here?" The ultimate challenge is that we are not "at the mercy of Fate," as the expression says "Que sera, sera...what will be will be.", thus clouding any possibilities for a better future. We can neutralize this image by establishing a positive frame of mind. Self-direction is what motivates us to pick up the pieces and start all over again. In order for you to achieve whatever you set out to do, you must believe in whatever you wish to achieve, accept its possibility and confidently expect it to be realized. These truths can be applied to every area of your life, whether it be your health, home, career, job or relationships, and in doing so you will lift your thoughts, and your vision to see beyond your needs, circumstances, or conditions that surround you, which will result in fear turning to courage and confidence, anxiety to calmness , and despair to faith and hope.
To be continued................What We Can Do When Things Go Wrong (3)
Papa was a great storyteller, according to my brothers, who were older than I was. He used to talk about the old neighborhood and claimed that he knew who the local hoods were that hung out on
So my dear readers, these were some of my obstacles, which I have encountered in my research. On the light side, Genealogy research has become the brunt of many humorous jokes. Sometimes within these jokes you might find some truths. I have come across several websites that reflect on this. Here are a few.
Murphy's Law of Genealogy
The Elusive Ancestor
The Outhouse Genealogy & Family Humor
I was also able to get a video from a wonderful elderly woman to whom I would forever be grateful, who was a relative of my godfather and who was born on the island. Since then she has passed away. Her daughter had taken this video on one of her vacations to the island. I was given a narrating tour of Prvic Luka. I visited the parish where papa and his family attended. I even saw the house, where papa was born...naturally it was made of stone, so it was able to withstand the ravages of time. I couldn't help but cry...How emotional it was for me, and all this, was a benefit that I received while browsing the internet. Here is a link to a very similar view of my papa's house and side street.
This was the first step in the right direction.
Barney was so excited that finally He had proof in his hand confirming Papa's birthplace and real name. The name papa used in the United States was an invented name. I began to take an intense interest in pursuing this further. I was constantly browsing the internet, looking for forums that would deal with Prvic Luka, feeding in my real last name "Bumbak." Bingo! What a wonderful surprise....amazingly, I ended up finding a fifth cousin through the internet, who lived in the United States, but would spend the summers out there with her father and mother, and she was on the forum. Between all our excitable talking, I ended up speaking with my fourth cousin, her father, but noone knew anything on papa. The only thing they said was that papa left the island on a ship, when he was about 15 or 16 years old, and probably went to Argentina. All they knew was that he never returned or contacted his parents after his departure. So there ended my search regarding Papa. I did find through the Family History Center's Catholic parish records of Prvic Luka that our surname went back to the 1700s on the Island.There were no synagogues on the island. Also my grandmother Anna Kordich (also pronounced Cordova) was born in the island of Zlarin. I was told growing up, that my father's mother was Sephardic, and that papa attended the synagogue on 112th street back in the old neighborhood. Before he died he gave my mother two stars of David, to be given to my sister and I when we married. Because it is so old, I have it safely tucked away. Every so often I would take it out and look at it, and try to understand its meaning.This has created a conflict within me, because Mama raised us as Catholics.
I don't speak Croatian, so I thought if I would feed the letter into Babelfish, I would get a top notch translation. Trusting that it was done properly, I sent it to the Croatian government. Hmmmmmmm....weeks and months passed and I wondered why I never got a response. Geeeeez.......I hope I didn't say anything wrong to offend....I should have left it to the professionals. Many countries expect you to write in their language. I believe, from now on, I should stick only to the Spanish language, I am more familiar with that. Because it would have been very expensive in hiring a translator or a researcher of that country, I decided to give up the European chase.
Not wanting to give up completely since I am a determined person by nature, I decided to focus on finding something on papa, here in the United States. I was very much surprised when I found out that he had been married not once or twice but three times, mama's marriage was the last. The family only knew of the two times. Papa lied about his birthplace, and his name was not his real name. Even on mama's marriage certificate he lied about his birthplace as well as on other documents. I couldn't understand why he would do that. This is what makes genealogical research frustrating.
To be continued...........Chasing Elusive Ancestors (3)
As the mass of immigrants approached the statue in the
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